Last week, out of a deep slumber, I awoke to the sing-song voice of Elmer Fudd, saying “A-hunting we will go…” I literally sat up in bed, thinking WTH? Did that come from my friend Ron Yoder posting the occasional Bugs Bunny cartoon? I didn’t remember a recent posting. Maybe because it was duck hunting season and I had just visited with my son-in-law and heard how he hadn’t even squeezed off a shot, much less bagged a duck? (Daffy would be happy at that) Hmm…Elmer’s phrase that lingered in my head might even be attributed to those Duck Dynasty pictures floating around on Facebook.
Whatever prompted me to wake so unusually, even for me, a vivid technicolor dreamer…I let go of and decided to turn it into fodder for a blog. It’s not too far a reach, considering I’m in the midst of a just-released first book, that I then immediately pulled from the market. Now my book has no home, and I am hunting for a new printer.
My designer Randy has likened the process of self-publishing to being on Mr. Toad’s Wild ride…& I have to agree. Along with our own self-discoveries about our work dragging us down, my illustrator and I started with CreateSpace, a subsidiary of Amazon. The things we didn’t like? The fact that they cared so little about protecting our product during shipping was number one on the list. The first copy I held in my hand…which should have been a thrilling moment, was disappointing…with a big crease across the front, and an already bent corner.
I googled customer shipping reviews…and found horror story, after horror story. Boo! My next unpleasant surprise was the reduction in price in as little as 48 hours to 15% off our set list-price. Hey, I had a willing & eager buying public! Yay for the eStore set-up where I had listed my price, and was directing my friends & relatives to purchase…but a big NO to the Amazon web page where, while thrilling to see the book up on it’s ordering page…was again, a big disappointment when I saw what they put our price at.
So, a hunting-we-will-go, indeed!
But there’s a problem. Mr. Toad’s Wild ride won’t stop to let us off! We’ve finished our book, really! And we just want to list it with a fair and reputable company! But no, it’s not that easy, grasshopper. Which come to think of it, must be a pretty favorite food (grasshoppers) of Wild Toads. But that’s what it’s beginning to feel like. (I’ll stop here with my comparisons before I get into trouble like Tom Cruise always does.)
It seems that not only has everyone started blogs way before I have, but also they are way ahead on their book titles, and everyone who’s anyone is self-publishing right now. The company I am interested in is Lightening Source printing. But they started another sister company, Ingram/Sparks. Which one to use? What are the differences? Yes, the hunt is on, and these choices seem to currently be the best, but permits are not being given out easily. The company does not take calls…well they do, but only to say please contact them first via email. After which you receive your email back as undeliverable because they are currently out of space for accepting new emails.
I decided to also concurrently work the eBook route, and happily settled on BookBaby to be our aggregator to all the major distributors. Oh, a children’s book? Lot’s of pictures? Except for Apple’s version, that’ll need to be specially formatted by someone else. Off then, to Smashwords’ Mark’s list…where right off the bat the first choice guy says he can’t (won’t) take the time because he has so much business, he doesn’t want to turn away the easy stuff to bother with one that’s going to cut into his proceeds…Le sigh, I sigh to myself.
Long story short, I love Elmer Fudd’s catchy tune…but I sure do NOT enjoy the hunt! Funny thing, I don’t think ELmer likes hunting all that much either!